MY FATHER-THE LIES-AND THE TRUTH.

So here it is, the truth about my dad and his lies. Well, I wouldn’t say lies as it seems harsh, and this is pretty damn hilarious. Family meals with school friends were always a treat, or new boyfriends coming by and mum and I being in on the joke and dad comes up with some funny untrue stories. I really feel this makes your day 10X better and also makes the people laugh that are around you. Enjoy!

 

“While chatting to a colleague I soon realized he was telling me a load of crap so I hatched a plan to do the same, firstly I started with telling him I went to oxford university to study “nuclear phisics” then worked as a physicist at sizewell for 25yrs. I then added on to this that i became a “professor at oxford” for another ten years or so, he then asked how I ended up in engineering I said I got bored thus ending up in this job at my  age of 43 he believed every word.”-No wonder I get people saying me “you’re dad is amazing! No, he’s just a good liar.

 

“Another one was a girl was chatting to me saying how much she liked drinking gin I then told her I didn’t drink due to losing my wife to drink, she hesitated then apologized profusely I then informed her that my wife got run over by a Guinness truck.” – My mum didn’t needless to say, enjoy this joke as much as dad and I did.

 

“While getting annoyed by a “know it all” apprentice I referred to past experience of prison, he asked me what I was in for and I told him manslaughter. As his face drained of colour he asked how long for I replied 12 months but should have got 20 yrs as the victim needed a good kicking, he wasn’t cocky after that.” – This is why dating is hard for me, I leave them for a second with dad and they vanish.

 

“A girl kept starring at me then asked me where she knew me from, whilst noticing her husband coming over I said it may have been from when I was a male escort and stripper. She froze for a couple of seconds then spurted out she’s a married woman and never did that sort of thing, un be knowing to her I knew her husband and he knew I was on a wind up.”-This makes “family outings” impossible, honestly.

 

Remember! Never take life to seriously! And jusy have a bit of fun!:)

 

Laura_Victoria

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Embrace your $exyne$$

Today we live in a society where without thought, we are constantly being judged; but also judging others, not just by choices or actions but by appearance. But if we already know this, why do we continue to do it to others, and in return, let it affect us? Is it for security? Or are we just in a never ending cycle that will never change?

Here are my quick steps to let loose and just be yourself and embrace your inner sexiness!

1) Original is recognisable.

Do you ever stare at someone in the street because they follow the trend? Because they look like their 3 friends walking with them? Because they’re wearing well known brands? You don’t look at a pair of jeans and say “I love those new look jeans, in the shades medium wash” or that lipstick and say “hold on, I know that texture, that’s a MAC texture”. You look at the original people you can inspiration from who rocks a whole new look that people don’t show in your location. Be the “IT” person, look at Marilyn Monroe, Lady GaGa, they we’re the first to go again the stream. So if it makes you feel good about yourself, show a little more leg, wear that lace because at the end of the day, you’ll be the one being envied for loving yourself.

2) Love yourself, because you’re loving your life for you, not anyone else.

If their court up on judging others because they’re judging themselves, go ahead and every morning look in the mirror and say “You’re beautiful, you’re strong, you’re my favourite person, and I love you for it”. This sounds a crazy thing to do, and trust me people will stare, and probably laugh, but you will laugh too and it give a great kick start to every day knowing that as long as you’re happy being the person you are and enjoy your own company, that’s all that matters. Plus, you can’t really fall out with yourself! So that’s a bonus!

3) Laugh off the comments!

Any comments in the street from other men or women? Comments from distant family friends about your makeup or hair colour or style of dress? Laugh, laugh it all off. And I mean not actually laugh out loud, I mean do a snigger, an evil snigger to just show to them you find their crap comments useless, but also to give yourself a little giggle too. Plus, evil enough looking and they may just run away (we can only wish) or perhaps laugh out loud to show how pathetic they are for thinking you’d actually care.

4) Lie.

So you’re feeling sexy right? You’re feeling good and you want to enjoy every damn second but people are trying to spoilt it. Lie.

Yes, I said it, Lie.

My father always said to never take life to seriously, and if you’re being hurt or the other person is being obnoxious and making you feel less sexy, tell a big pork pie.

My dad and my uncle during my cousins wedding reception (meal) convinced the staff serving us and the management that they had recently been released from prison for man slaughter and then went on to say things such as “the prison warden never let the food touch on the plate like this” and “ooh if only the warden could see us now”.

Needless to say the meal was the best and funniest meal I’ve ever had.

I will do a full post on my father and his stories as I feel I’ll be here forever and it needs its own place here.

It’s just too funny.
So there are a few quick tips to embrace yourself and your sexiness and to deal with other people!

Watch out for my post involving my dad, it’s going to be golden!

Laura_Victoria

Press the unwind button.

Hello all,

Now as I’m sat here on a rather dull Thursday morning, watching the forever grey skies of the U.K; I started to think about all things I have to do. Now in my head the list seems never ending and very daunting… and thinking back to what I have been doing the list is continuous. Do I actually have 5 minutes to stop and breath? Let me check… no. What? Where are my days going? They just seem to be slipping through my fingers and as this is happening, more tasks are being added to my building list. So in this downward spiralling situation, its important to just stop, put your foot firmly on the break and breath. Do a double check on that schedule and slot in some very much needed down time; so I thought in my  few moments of down time I’d talk to you about what I do to unwind after or during a very busy day. unknown

These are my top 15:

  1. Drink a green tea
  2. Walk around, or if you like the exercise take a jog or short run.
  3. Meditate – Take a breath and chill–  read this to learn a bit more about ways to destress
  4. Nap or go to bed earlier
  5. Talk to someone
  6. Read a book,blog…lose yourself
  7. Listen to some music. Weather it’s from your dance playlist or relax playlist enjoy it
  8. Tidy up
  9. Write in a journal. Write down your worries and stresses from the day and then put it away
  10. Organise yourself. Yes, it seems like work when you want to be relaxing, but feeling  mentally and physically prepared goes a long way to the feeling of unwinding after a long day.
  11. Count to 10 and do it again
  12. See the positives
  13. Learn something new
  14. Slow down and take your time
  15. Take the day off and sort through it all

I hope this may go forward to helping some of you.

If you would like me to go through this in more detail, please let me know I would love to hear from you!

Until next time

Yours

Paige xoxo